It's been awhile since I've posted a blog or update of any kind. It's been a rough couple of months both personally and professionally with the lines frequently blurring between the two.
First, last month was the worst month of my entire residency thus far. I was on te GI team The majority of our kids had liver or multivisceral organ transplants or need one. So in other words, our kids were sick, very very sick. And there were so MANY of them, at one point 38 of which 19 were on the liver service (think sick kids). The rest of the GI team patient wise usualy isn't too bad....constipation, Crihn's disease, cyclic vomiting.....or your random Manchausen by proxy mother that threatens to call the press and her lawyer if you do something that she doesn't agree with. And would you believe I had 2 such families. And 2 other families that were quite simply CRAZY and unreasonable.
I was the dark thundercloud of doom in December. If I was on call, invariably someone crumped and I sent them to the PICU. Sadly, the first patient I sent to the PICU died 2 days before Christmas and 1 day after his first birthday. I cried and cried. I can't go in to details but I feel some guilt over how his care was managed esp with regards to inability to vocalize emphatically something that I strongl felt at the time should be done and wasn't. And I think it would have made a difference.
Then there was my sweet baby boy waiting for liver, small bowel, pancreas (aka multivisceral organ) transplant. His family was so sweet. His family was so trusting in me all the time. This family had one request....they wanted organs for Christmas. Unfortunately they are still waiting. My most difficult conversation occurred with this family. The Baby is a twin. His brother is doing well. Because of cold and flu season, children under the age of 2 are not allowed on the floor. This meant his twin couldn't come for Xmas and that would mean no picture. We told them to sneak the baby in and it would be a "Don't ask, don't tell" scenario. Mom expressed reluctance because we had all been so kind to her.SHe asked me what I thought. I told her very adamantly that her baby was doing ok right now but no one could see the future and he was a very sick boy. They needed to take advantage of every opportunity they had to create precious memories. I was post call and exhausted and ummm emotional. I started to cry, mom cried......and she snuck the twin in for Christmas and got her most important pictures.
And last there is my other sweet boy that had a multivisceral organ transplant in Oct. and who was also the victim of child abuse. He was so fat from the steroids that he looked like a baby sumo wrestler. He was/is my favorite. I worked so hard on his development and making sure we paid attention to all of his needs not just his medical. He needs a home. I have a home. I would love to bring him home but as hard as I tried to figure out a way, I can barely take care of myself and a dog let alone a very special needs child.
The high point of the month: It ended. And well I did recruit a new special needs patient for my continuity clinic.
The low points: 6 transfer to the PICU, 1 death, work week of 96 hours, calling your mother to beg her to do some laundry because you just ran out of unerwear.
I've had a hard time recovering from that rotation emotionally and have been very cranky this month in the ER, a rotation I typically enjoy. Things are slowly starting to get better.
I did a few things to work on looking out for me. I joined the gym and have found it to be a greagt stress reliever. I joined Audible (your fault Paula) and am enjoing it immensely, and I have sacrificed some computer time to play with the dog and keep things cleaned up a but in my house.
I haven't done a ton of stitching and really can't imagine where stitching will take me this year. Here are links to a couple of updates.
First, my new start November Toaz fairy. She is a true delight. So elegant but the froggies like her.
http://fireinthelab.multiply.com/photos/album/56/November_Topaz_Fairy
ANd the garden is going through a bit of a drought but here it is (pretty lousy picture too)
http://fireinthelab.multiply.com/photos/album/50/And_a_Garden_Grows#7
Nothing much else going on other than I'm falling asleep typing this post.
Have a great week and try to stay warm.
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